i have finally come to the realization
that 'because i said so' is a perfectly legitimate
answer to the question 'why?' that
so easily flows from the lips of my little elf these days...
i never really said it before
maybe because he didn't question every request i made before...
maybe because i bought into the years of hearing that
it's not a good answer to give kids when their curious minds
just want to know how the world works...
maybe i made a silent promise to myself that i wouldn't ever say it...
& who cares, really?
'because i said so' is a good answer
maybe not to some questions
like 'where is the rake?'
or 'why is that bunny doing that to the other bunny'
i mean really
even make sense...
but i know i thought that it was just a last resort answer
because you were so tired of the 'why why why?'
but now that i am wiser & older
i know that it is a plea
a plea disguised
it is a plea to respect your parent
& just trust that i have a reason for the insane request
that you stop singing jingle bells at the top of your lungs
or to wear shoes when we walk over
the pile of broken glass that
we are collecting in the back yard...
because, of course
the most important word in the sentence is 'i'
as in me
as in your mother
as in the person who
when you were about 8 months old
& puking your guts out every hour or so
held you, your little face on my shoulder
as you oh so delicately barfed right down the back of my shirt
& did not drop you
or even cringe
(well, maybe i cringed a little)
so as not to wake you up
& your dad was not here
so i sat with you on me
in my horrible terrible no good very stinky shirt
for about an hour
so that you could sleep.
yeah that me.
because it's not always the actual act that is the issue...
would i prefer that every piece of pasta in the house wasn't in the bathtub?
would my sheets look better if they didn't have marker on them?
would we have been able to resell the diaper champ if you hadn't written all over it with an orange sharpie?
but in the end
i really just want you to trust me, okay?
there's nothing i'm going to do to you that
a very talented therapist can't undo in about twenty years...
& so dear citizens
i leave you with this one thought:
'because i said so' rocks
(let's make t-shirts)
& now here's a picture of the cute elf
because i feel guilty
(i'll have a post about that 'because phrase' soon...
it will be a two parter
that's for darn sure)