04 September 2008

just learning...

(Q's desk)
one of my most favorite blogs is finslippy
one of my most favorite friends, rachael told me about it
so it was bound to be a favorite, right?

finslippy is written by a lady named alice
who is so funny that i really do laugh out loud sometimes
& who is so real that sometimes i cry
she wrote a post a few days ago
that i just read today...
why don't you go over there & read it
it's titled 'few words about writing'
(click that sentence that's a different color)
& then come back
& we will discuss, okay?

okay...
so good right?
& so what i needed
i have been in such a funk
& not a good
marky mark & the funky bunch
kind of funk
(that link's for you, kate)
an icky kind of funk
(careful spelling that girls)

not sure exactly what i'm supposed to be doing creatively
not satisfied to just make stuff for me
but not interested in starting a business to sell stuff
(well maybe a little
but only if i got to make stuff
design displays & order things
& someone else dealt with
money
schedule
employees
(except for interviews
i've always wanted to interview someone)
& customers
(i'll help the happy ones!)
so basically i want a business where i
get to do whatever i want
& i only have to talk to people when i want to
& only if they are nice...
that should be very easy to find)

i struggle with just being satisfied with being a mom
(by the way
i love my kids & i love being a mom!
i just have to say that for myself
& my kiddos when they are old enough to read this
('hi Q & miss m! you sure are cool! obey your mother! love you!')

i always wanted to be an artist or a teacher
(that's what i would always write on my school papers
never 'an art teacher' for some reason:)
& i knew i would be a mom
but i'm so agitated
that i can't get a good balance
with the practical & the creative parts
i guess balance is it
but ugh
that is so typical isn't it?
& i just wanted to be different:)

anyway
what alice said
'doing stuff is always better than not doing stuff'
& the ceramics study she noted at the end of the post
& the ira glass thing
all compile to tell me
that i just need to do some stuff
& not worry about what it is
or what anyone else would say about it
& maybe
just maybe
then i will get my groove back
& figure this out
or maybe i will just keep growing
& that's okay too
i guess...
:)

ps i was just thinking, too about how
sometimes artistic types think about what
they are going to do so much
that once they do it
it doesn't come out how they pictured it
& so then they are afraid to try again
or something
& how no one would ever send a guy out onto the football field
& say
'i know you've never been on a field before
but you know what a touchdown looks like right?
you've thought about it
go do it!'
practice
& repetition, my friends
i think that's a big part of it

also this:
progress, not perfection.

& what i say to Q often:
'we are all just learning'

lots of pieces
& just making stuff
might do the trick...

:)

6 comments:

jmbmommy said...

yea....

jmbmommy said...

I wanted that to just be a comment on it's own. BUT I am so there with you...it is like I am pregnant again, but with myself, and I don't really have a timetable on when that birth is due...and it can't be induced...even if your gyno(love that abbreviation) is going on a vay-cay. Yes, so this part, the part that we are going through right now, I think, is about doing it, less talking about, thinking about, but doing it. Dissassemmbling--re-assemmbling...making it, AND frying up the bacon! (is that confused enough for you??) Craftcast lady sez...get your butt in the chair and get to work, and as much as I don't want my kids to say "butt", that is what I think we got to do.
Quantity--the individual pieces may not rock our world but I think looking back on what we have gained from the process, and where we can take that in the future....I think that is where we need to be right now....Pregnant with ourselves and making art...


I don't know how that came out to you, but I needed it to come out to me...I may have to share this with myself on my blog...apparently I have A LOT to say....but seriously back to you...you got it all and you just need to do and you are going to figure it out!!! Yep, just think back 5 years and look what you are doing now...you are making some cool stuff, kids, art, friends, yourself! Miss you friend!

Kel said...

AMEN!
So I got this really cute invitation in the mail the other day for a baby shower and I showed my mom and she said "don't you wish you had done this" and I said "yeah, right! That's why she is like my idol!" So there, you are someone's idol when it comes to creativity. You have always and will always be an inspiration to me and many others that I know. You ooze with creativity even though oozing doesn't seem very pretty, you are pretty and you ooze, with a good ooze, if ooze can be good. I guess it's better than saying you reak with creativity. Love you. (Q and M - obey your mommy!)

Andria said...

As a mentor, as a friend, as a creator, as a mom, as a person... I am in continual awe of you and in complete appreciation to God that He was so kind to put you on this earth. I still see the heart you crafted for me on my way in and out of my room every single day (for over the past 10 years). That may seem a little cheese (I do admit to being rather cheesy) or you might think a little silly - but honestly it - and you - are a huge blessing.

Sarah said...

cute pictures of you and your cute hat on my blog!! ;)

kimberly a. said...

Your art that you share through Cocoa Daisy and your blog inspire me- and I am amazed by others who are also at home with kids trying to express themselves as artists through all they do. I guess I am also glad to know that I am not the "only one" who goes through creative slumps. Thanks for sharing your insights and creativity!