10 January 2008

give us this day...

what do you do
with those last two slices of bread?
you know the heals?
the top one you've just been reaching around
the whole loaf long
& then you get to the end
& you have two heals in a long tube...
i think that the bread i buy
(cracked wheat thank you very much)
slices there heals particularly thin
so that if you toast them
they burn
& the fire alarm goes off...
i set the alarm off about once a week
on my own
i don't need your help, thank you, mr. bread product...
& truly they are not even sandwich worthy
(very similar to sponge worthy)
if you put the sandwich fixings
(or as we said where i grew up fixin's)
on the bread part
then you have a weird heal spaceship looking thing
if you try to disguise the fact that you are using heals
you are quickly found out to be the bread liar that you are
as the fixin's fly off of the slippery heal parts...
so what's a girl to do?
i hear you, men & women not on a budget
'throw them away'
throw that whole plasticy tube in the trash
(or in our case the three (probably moldy by now) bags
that are in our bread bowl)
but then
there is
the guilt...
it's not enough that i worry that Q
will only ever know how to write a Q
or that he will catch the mother of all colds
because i refuse to argue with him about clothing
& i let him wear shorts
no matter what the temperature outside is...
it's not enough that i'm pretty sure
that when miss m's wedding day comes
& the centerpieces have votives instead of tealights
she will let out a blood curdling scream
usually reserved only for the middle of the night
after you decided that
'saw 3 can't be that scary'...
it's not enough that i'm pretty sure that
no matter where i bought eggs this month
they are 3 cents cheaper somewhere else in the city...
now i have bread guilt


& i am back...

eta: my grandma emails me comments
& i wanted to share this one:
About the heels of bread (see, I did read your blog).
I save them (in the freezer) until I have 5 or 6 and then make crumbs
out of them in the blender or food processor. You can add seasonings
or not as you wish. They make attractive toppings for casseroles or as
breading on meat or fish that you are baking. Also a good addition to
meat loaf or meat balls instead of oatmeal. Add paprika for color - (that's
my gourmet tip).

thanks grandma!
i love it!


jmbmommy said...

Toot! I am so glad...the blogosphere is a cold place with out you! I think that the bread thing is a mystery too...my kids shun the crust, but then want to fight about who gets to eat the heal plain?? What is that about?

Left Coast Sister said...

I'm with jmb! Glad you are back!! you could let the heels dry out, then tear them up and put them in tomato soup... kinda like croutons, but actually, I take back that suggestion, that sounds gross. Eat 'em untoasted with cinnamon & sugar. ANd butter of course.

Anna said...

So good to see your words! I find anything broiled is just a little more yummy...with cheddar or parmesan and a tomato...definately for adults only :)


I am not sure what brought about your heel aversion...I remember having to eat them when we were little. if you put enough peanut butter and honey on them you cannot tell there is so much crust.
Now I take that back...you have always had an aversion to foods you were forced to eat. shredded lettuce, peas...heels of the bread.
I am only recently on budget so I do what all thrifty people do...I buy bread at the grocery outlet. There is no guilt tossing out ten cents worth of bread!
Glad you are back!

Kel said...

I am so glad that there is someone else in this world that has three bags of heals that are molding in their bread bowl! Now, is anyone else typing on a keyboard without half the keys because your three year old decided to remove them? No?
Oh, just thought I'd ask...

emmi said...

We always saved our heels in the freezer when we were little to fee to the ducks. Now they are saved for the goats down the street. Either way the recipients of the heels are happy and you get entertainment.

Where have you been? What of the promise to see all the wonderful projects you were working on? Please, please show and tell.

jmbmommy said...

I love, love, love your new banner....so cute!!!

Sarah said...

what DO you do with the heels? I just don't know... definetly something to ponder. ;) Glad to see you're back to blogging!!

Angie said...

it's funny because it's true....

I agree with all these nice gals.... especially the broiling and duck-feeding (hi anna and emmi!) and the welcome back sentimenting...

and don't worry, I won't spill the beans about where you've been... they'll find out soon enough when the new season begins and Jeff Probst introduces the new contestants.... oh... whoopsy-daisy!

one more thing... I've found that composting the moldy bread and recycling the plastic bag are good salves for easing the bread-wasting guilt...

oh! and I love that new banner... especially the last picture, with the chaos in the front and the blissful smooching in the back :)

Colleen said...

I EAT them. Yes, in all their crusty toasty goodness. Lots of warm butter and drip drip honey. THEEEE END.