give us this day...

what do you do
with those last two slices of bread?
you know the heals?
the top one you've just been reaching around
the whole loaf long
& then you get to the end
& you have two heals in a long tube...
i think that the bread i buy
(cracked wheat thank you very much)
slices there heals particularly thin
so that if you toast them
they burn
& the fire alarm goes off...
i set the alarm off about once a week
on my own
i don't need your help, thank you, mr. bread product...
& truly they are not even sandwich worthy
(very similar to sponge worthy)
if you put the sandwich fixings
(or as we said where i grew up fixin's)
on the bread part
then you have a weird heal spaceship looking thing
if you try to disguise the fact that you are using heals
you are quickly found out to be the bread liar that you are
as the fixin's fly off of the slippery heal parts...
so what's a girl to do?
i hear you, men & women not on a budget
'throw them away'
throw that whole plasticy tube in the trash
(or in our case the three (probably moldy by now) bags
that are in our bread bowl)
but then
there is
the guilt...
it's not enough that i worry that Q
will only ever know how to write a Q
or that he will catch the mother of all colds
because i refuse to argue with him about clothing
& i let him wear shorts
no matter what the temperature outside is...
it's not enough that i'm pretty sure
that when miss m's wedding day comes
& the centerpieces have votives instead of tealights
she will let out a blood curdling scream
usually reserved only for the middle of the night
after you decided that
'saw 3 can't be that scary'...
it's not enough that i'm pretty sure that
no matter where i bought eggs this month
they are 3 cents cheaper somewhere else in the city...
now i have bread guilt
please.

:)

& i am back...

eta: my grandma emails me comments
& i wanted to share this one:
About the heels of bread (see, I did read your blog).
I save them (in the freezer) until I have 5 or 6 and then make crumbs
out of them in the blender or food processor. You can add seasonings
or not as you wish. They make attractive toppings for casseroles or as
breading on meat or fish that you are baking. Also a good addition to
meat loaf or meat balls instead of oatmeal. Add paprika for color - (that's
my gourmet tip).

thanks grandma!
i love it!