26 June 2006

file this under i-wouldn't-believe-it-if-i-hadn't-heard-it-with-my-own-two-ears...

the following blog contains one or more
slightly offensive words
(i say one or more because
it really depends on what words you find offensive
some people really hate the word 'anyway'
because some people use it too often
some people use it so often
that whenever there is a pause in a conversation
their 2 year old son says
'um so anyway...')
i apologize to anyone that this offends
i feel that it fits in the context
of my subject matter
& plus it adds shock value
which let's face it is severely lacking in this blog...
so prepare to be shocked
& awed
on with the show...

in music
not of snacks
(though i have nothing against that, for sure)

it's a lovely trend
a new song with a bit of an old song
it's cool
it makes you feel connected to the past
or something like that

sadly the only example i can think of at this moment
(this moment being 3:18 am...thank you miss m:)
is jessica simpson's
'boy i think that i'm in love with you'
where she samples
'jack & diane' by john cougar mellencamp (sp!)

but the other day
a new one
the 'popular' music station round here
& apparently popular means mostly rap
because that's what i usually hear
when i push that button

the song
'if you're sexy & you know it clap your hands'

yes you read that right

so after i died laughing
& then clapped my hands:)

i thought
it's about time
those rappers have tapped into a market that the rest of music has forgotten
preschool mommies
i mean really, look what they've done for bitches & ho's
& now here it is
a song we all know & love
carefully rewritten

& what is next
i would like to wonder
the wheels on the pimped out bmw go round & round?
the itsy bitsy halter top?
twinkle twinkle giant diamond earrings with matching bracelet & necklace?

oh how i would love to hear your ideas
creative friends....


ps as i was thinking up new ones
i was picturing a well loved dvd we have
'elmo sings kids favorite songs'
so now i have elmo's voice in my head
if you're sexy & you know it...
will i ever get to sleep?

pps i just did spell check
because i couldn't spell my way out of a dictionary
& guess what word came up on Bloggers spell check?
oh how i love irony



Kel said...

All the ones I keep thinking of are wildly inapropriate, so I asked my wholesome husband and his are worse than mine...we will keep thinking.

Pray for our salvation!

jmbmommy said...

Ok, so you are THE funniest. I am so sad that I didn't think of the risque kids songs niche. I like "jimmy CRACK corn", oh wait that is already a song, maybe we would have to change the lyrics....too funny, maybe if I got more sleep I could think of something actually witty.

Angie said...

Again, I laughed out loud. Your examples are even better than the original.

And good for you... clapping your hands!!!

Left Coast Sister said...

You are HILARIOUS! 3 a.m is a good time for you! I think the wheels on the pimped out BMW go round and round is the best one. "I'm a little sexpot (or crackpot, if you're going for the drugs over sex appeal)" could be the next big hit. I'm laughing laughing laughing!

Jamie said...

EM!! My new favorite song just happens to also be a "sampling": it's called SOS by Rhianna and it's got the background of Tainted Love by Soft Cell. I haven't heard yours yet, though-although I'm dying to! Okay, so some kids' versions. I immediately have naughty thoughts when thinking of "Hokey Pokey", but I won't detail that one for you...how about instead of "head and shoulders, knees and toes" it could be "hips and jelly, booties and humps"...oh goodness. What is this world coming to? :)