05 December 2006

meet my arch-nemesis

five days to go
five days
until the wedding of the century

there are many
blood boiling
stories about this wedding to be
but will i be talking about those right now?

because there are greater issues at hand

ladies & gentleman
the bain (?)
of my existance....

i put no blame on the bride
(for 2 reasons:
1) she did not pick them out
2) who in their right mind would
put the blame on a bride for ANYTHING
5 days before her wedding?)

the blame goes to two bridesmaids
who i otherwise love & adore
& i'm going to chalk it up to a giddy excitement
over being all together in a shoe store...
who is in their right mind in a shoe store?
i'm sure the conversation went something like this:

bridesmaid #1
(holding up a pair of wellies)
'i bet you wouldn't wear these in the wedding'

bridesmaid #2
(holding flip flops)
'bet you wouldn't wear these'

BM #1
(that abbreviation in no way reflects my feelings toward them
only toward their shoe choice)
(holding up very sensible 1 inch heels)
'bet you wouldn't wear these'

BM #2
(holding scary 2 inch heels)
'bet you wouldn't wear these'

BM #1
(hold above pictured shoes of death)
'bet you wouldn't wear these'

BM #2
'yes i would & i think we should make everyone
wear them too. even the pastor'

well, the pastor got out of it
lucky SOB (sorry grandma)
but all of the tall skinny bridesmaids
& me
did not.

let us just see how tall these heels are shall we?

now i would have to ask carrie bradshaw for an official ruling
because i'm not sure if you measure
right up to where the heel meets the shoe
or from the ground to where your physical heel is
(plus this measuring idea was lovely
except i should have possibly
put the ruler & the shoe on the same surface
so now they look like they are 3 & 1/2 or 4 inches!)
any which way...
i'm going with 3 inches...


this is not going to be pretty
no matter how cute they are...

& you better believe i am bringing
shoes to change into
& they will be flats.
that's no inch heels...


ps if you do want to know about the
blood boiling
they are well documented on
very cute...


Left Coast Sister said...

Oh emily, how I love you. (; And the cool thing is, with those shoes, you'll be over 6 feet tall!! How's that for stealing the show! Just please, please promise me you'll dance at least one dance in those little hoof covers!!

jmbmommy said...

hee hee hee
Oh my, now I know why you haven't been blogging. Those shoes, hmmmm, they are cute. I do hope that you have been practicing.... My thoughts are with you!


Oh my gosh I had no idea how much you hated the shoes...and no I do not take responsibility but oh man are they sexy and how do I wish that I culd have worn the cream version myself (groom does not want taller bride)! What I will say is that I wore the shoes in M's wedding and no they are not run after a 2 year-old shoes but they are sexy and man will your hubby love to see you in them!

Jill said...

Hey Em - what size ? You can bring them to my next yard sale in February and I just might have to buy them :) They are fabulous !


emmi said...

Ouch! I feel for you. I was able to buy the shoes for Monica's wedding, but they were uncomfortable and kept falling off my heel. (They were the only pair of bronze shoes I could find for a decent price.) I thought I was going to crash and burn during my aisle walk. Thankfully I was spared. Fortunately you are more graceful than I am.